NEVER ENOUGH OFFICIAL TRAILER

 

Check Out The Trailer For Our Doc

"NEVER ENOUGH"

Find us at https://www.facebook.com/NeverEnoughDocumentary

TERRIBLE STOP-MOTION - PART 1: "ROCKY'S RESTORATION... BABY!"

MY TERRIBLE STOP-MOTION

PART 1: "ROCKY'S RESTORATION"

These are some of my first and only attempts at stop-motion animation. It's a very long and boring process. For three hours of work, you might get 30 seconds of useable footage. That's why there is only three of these... and naturally, I was watching a lot of Robot Chicken at the time, so that was easy enough to steal.

https://www.youtube.com/user/Fitl

Enjoy. Like and Subscribe.

BAD MOVIES THAT SHOULD BE SCENE (34 OF 100)

 

"Crank: High Voltage" (2009),
Dir: Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor

$20,000,000 Budget vs. $13.630,226 in Gross

The Crank films (or better yet Grand Theft Auto: The Movie) are about as puerile entertainment as you can get, and that's exactly what makes them so great. Logic is thrown out the window to keep the mindless entertainment a-comin'. But whereas the first Crank is actually a good film, the second is an excuse to bring all these characters back and throw just about everything including the neighbor's dog and the kitchen sink into the mess. It doesn't try to be a better film than its predecessor, just louder, ruder, and more excessive... which deserves viewing.

Crank: High Voltage opens with a two-bit video game sequence recreating the final events of the last film. Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) falls from a helicopter to what-should-be his glorious death, but bounces off a car and hits the street, still alive. And convenient for Chev, a gang of Chinese organ thieves nab his less-than-shattered-body and keep Chev alive for about three months. They remove his heart and give him a shoddy pacemaker, keeping his body going for them to harvest the rest of his organs. One day, Chev wakes up in the middle of surgery as they are about to remove his dong. He miraculously springs into action (very limber considering he's been immobile for months), and sets to get his heart back.

No one can blame Neveldine and Taylor for taking their brainchild to the next level. The first film saw Chev on a crazy suicide run in which the only way to keep his heart from exploding was to partake in as much sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll as he possibly could (pretty much the rules to Grand Theft Auto). The second film removes the heart from the equation and adds a masochistic twist where Chev requires electrical shocks to  recharge (a still very video game-inspired plot device). This is less of an evolution on the original concept and more of a vehicle for more violence, more sex, and more insanity.

For an example, in the first Crank film, we meet Chev's girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) half-way through the movie. She's the typical easy-going L.A. girl and probably the only good thing Chev has in his life. In the second Crank, Eve shows up about fifteen minutes into the movie working as a stripper and wearing electrical tape over her nipples. Her and Chev's big scene in the first film comes when Chev is forced to, well, rape Eve in the streets of Chinatown in order to get his adrenaline up. Eve is reluctant at first, but then joins in, actually enjoying it, as can be seen below....

The scene turns into one of the cinema’s most lewd and degrading public sex scenes (but it’s fantastic). In the second film, their big scene comes when Chev’s “strawberry tart” is suddenly running out of juice and Chev needs to create some friction to recharge. Eve, without a second thought, jumps Chev at the horse races and the two proceed to repeat the same scene of the first film, about forty minutes earlier this time and in front of a stadium of hundreds of Chinese people all watching. After that, Eve's character just kinda exists. Point is, though, that Crank 2 exists to dethrone whatever Crank 1 threw out there (and it’s even more fantastic)... So, you get the logic...

As it is a movie designed to push every button it can, there is actually only two items that irk me about this movie. The objectifying of women was definitely present in the first film, but much more increasingly in the second. In the first film, hookers were paid to hang out in bikinis in plastic bubbles as part of the scenery (which no one really objected to in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi). In the second film, for the most part, they just lay around completely naked, covered in scum, and do nothing but being naked bodies on display. (There is actually so much nudity in Crank 2, I’m surprised it only got an R rating.) And aside Eve, the only other female character is Ria (Bai Ling), the crazy, motor-mouth, crack-head hooker. Though funny, her character is pretty much an abomination for Women's Rights, setting them back about a thousand years...

SPLILER ALERT!!! The second is that it brings back the villain from the first Crank movie, Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), in the most logic-defying scene of the film. Whereas Chev survived the helicopter fall, unscathed, Verona is now a talking head in a giant fish-tank, still running the show... Nah. That's where this movie feels like an episode of Ninja Turtles for me with Krang as the villain, and I gotta just say nah...

In comparing the two, Crank 2 is not as good as the first. The first had moments of heart and questioned its own nature at times. Crank: High Voltage is much like its protagonist: heartless and psychotic… But what it lacks in humanity, it makes up for in pure gonzo.

MORE SPOILERS!!!! To name a few things Crank 2 has that I've never seen in a mainstream action film before, (1) Man getting shotgun up ass. (2) Stripper’s fake boobs leaking everywhere. (3) Men transforming into Godzilla-monsters. (4) Flashback in the form of British talk show starring 12-year-old Chev Chelios and Geri Halliwell as his mother. (5) Movie's hero beating the bad guy and kissing the girl while burning alive...

In short, if nothing on that list sounds appealing to you, skip Crank: High Voltage. But if it sounds about up your alley, it's a definite guilty pleasure.

 

THE HONEYMOON IS OVER

"THE HONEYMOON IS OVER"

I love and hate this video. I love it because it is probably one of the funniest videos to come out of Human Outreach Program and our most viewed. I hate it because I had nothing to do with it. This masterpiece was Jordan Smith, Lee Taylor, and Danielle Ouimet.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCObgAbgFVXY5-Rti_JwDsKw

More to be found on my channel. Like and Subscribe.

NEVER ENOUGH TRAILER #1

FITL ON FILMS: "NEVER ENOUGH" - A FILM ABOUT COLLECTING

"NEVER ENOUGH" A DOC BY DOUG BROWN

For the last couple years, I have been editing a documentary for Doug Brown...

and now it's here,and coming to your town!

Check us out at

https://www.facebook.com/NeverEnoughDocumentary

For now, here's a couple of snazzy photos!

 

"NEVER ENOUGH" - A FILM ABOUT COLLECTING

"NEVER ENOUGH" A DOC BY DOUG BROWN

For the last couple years, I have been editing a documentary for Doug Brown...

and now it's here,and coming to your town!

Check us out at

https://www.facebook.com/NeverEnoughDocumentary

For now, here's a couple of snazzy photos!

 

BAD MOVIES THAT SHOULD BE SEEN (33 OF 100)

 

"Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome" (1985),
Dir: George Miller and George Ogilvie

$12,305,523 Budget vs. $36,200,000 in Gross

 

Haven't done one of these in a while and there's reasons. First, the return to my production roots: commenting less, producing more, and trying to build a minor Youtube army. Second is that I could not honestly think of any bad movies worth seeing lately. There are endless to choose from, but not many with redeeming qualities... Then I saw the new Mad Max trailer, and bingo! For this article, I picked the last of the trilogy, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. It's not the worst in the series, but not the best. I could easily have picked the first movie, but to be honest, I can’t argue it being worth the time. Yes, it’s got a younger, more Australian Mel Gibson in it. He plays a semi-future cop who turns his car into a weapon. But really, that’s it...

  

Other than being Mel's debut and us seeing Max go nuts (the murder of his wife and child... very Death Wish), it doesn't really hold much water to the rest of the series. You could watch the sequel and know all you need to know about the character from the title. (“Oh, he’s mad. I get it... Moving on.”) The first felt to me like a cheap superhero movie to me. When you hear people talk about Mad Max, usually they are referring to the second movie in the series, Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior, thinking it's the first one. Road Warrior has it all, from the crazy outback car chases, to the psychotic feral-people, to Lord Humungus, to that boomerang kid, to an epic car chase that made cinematic history. It’s kind of a masterpiece… And what does Thunderdome have? Well, it has Thunderdome!!

And as you can see, Thunderdome is f%$#ing awesome! That one sequence makes the film. The rules: two men go in, one man comes out. Pretty simple set-up... except Max has to take on the feared Master-Blaster (Blaster being a mindless goon, and Master being the midget who instructs him). It's pure cinema genius... and then it's over. And unfortunately, so is the rest of the movie.

After the glorious first-half of the movie, Max gets banished from Bartertown (which was actually parodied brilliantly by South Park). He goes on a new adventure and finds all these weird lost children, but after Thunderdome (without argument, the high-point of the film), it's hard to care. Firstly, the kids can hardly communicate with Max, which makes it kinda boring. Secondly, there’s this long journey to this passenger plane that they found, which apparently functions as a relic of the old-world and not a plot point. Now, me being a kid and the Mad Max movies usually being about vehicles, I thought this plane would be their escape from this terrible place. At the point in which they brought in The Pilot character from Road Warrior (the closest thing Max has to a friend in the series), I almost sure something was gonna come of this stupid plane… and it didn’t. So what was the damn point of putting it in there?! Planes aren't f&^%ing cheap!

The other major weak-point of Thunderdome for me was the casting of Tina Turner as the matriarch of Bartertown, Aunty Entity. Even as a kid, it never felt right to me… perhaps because it's glaringly Tina Turner, and not a movie character. But even then, I gotta ask myself when comparing this to Road Warrior (which has no shortage of misogyny and graphic rape), how did Aunty Entity acquire so much power in this f&#*ed-up, male-dominated world? Maybe she sang for them.

The movie is directed by two different directors and really feels that way at times. I can't really comment too much on the second-half of Thunderdome really, because I can't remember much. It's like the second-half of Stripes or Full Metal Jacket. Pretty forgettable, especially in comparison to its grand opening. That doesn't bode well for the last chapter in any series. Mad Max doesn’t end on a whimper, people. Mad Max ends on a kick to the nuts.

 

This is why the new Mad Max movie excites me. Whether a reboot, remake, re-launch, re-whatever, the original Mad Max franchise was rocky from the get-go and could use a jump-start. The last edition was in 1985 and the world of Mad Max was arguably not really created until the second movie, and then came to a grinding halt mid-third. So there is lots of ground to be covered and a new audience to enjoy it. Thunderdome is worth seeing because it gave us a glimpse of Max’s world when all the cars and explosions stop for a second… and then we get thrown into a messed-up Roman arena of pure awesomeness.

Check out this review of the second Mad Max film Road Warrior by my hetero-lifemates Seamus and Joe at Movies For Dudes right here.

JUNKIE ON THE BED

"JUNKIE ON THE BED"

One of our snappier and least-viewed videos in my opinion. Do you like British comedy? Well, so did we, and tried to emulate our favorites. Note Seamus Saunder's fine performance as the junkie. Oscar-worthy in my opinion. And note Lee Taylor as "Wife." Those breasts shocked us all.

Like and Subscribe. Lots more of this junk on my youtube channel.

https://www.youtube.com/user/Fitl

HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?

HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF??

It's Friday, so I thought I would share an old favorite. This is still my favorite short (it's actually shot on 16mm film). It was when things first "clicked" for me. The style of my videos has very much been in the same vein ever since. Of course, it could not have been accomplished without Jason Pickar and his utter shamelessness. Thanks, buddy.

Anyways, check out my channel for more. Like and Subscribe. There's tons of this bullshit.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCObgAbgFVXY5-Rti_JwDsKw

20 SECONDS OF TERRIBLE SPECIAL FX

20 SECONDS OF TERRIBLE SPECIAL FX

Final trailer for my youtube channel. Check it out. Like and Subscribe. Who knows? You might be in one of videos and didn't even know... Muhahahahaha...

Click the link below to see more...

https://www.youtube.com/user/Fitl

BOY AND FATHER - ACT TWO

FROM THE DEPTHS OF DV HELL:

"BOY AND FATHER, ACT 2"

This is the second part of our two-part video. It features some of our more painful shoots (in 30 below weather) and some practical special effects (a man-eating oven). In Part 2, it's the tragic story of a boy, a father, bonding, turkey dinners, ghosts, a man-eating oven, and an eventual end. Enjoy Part 2. Watch for the stuffing scene.

BOY AND FATHER - ACT ONE

FROM THE DEPTHS OF DV HELL:

"BOY AND FATHER, ACT 1"

This video is probably one of the longer, more ambitious videos we had done. In two parts, it's the tragic story of a boy, a father, a monkey, a murder, whaffer cookies, poison that looks like steak spice, and three different directors doing different segments at three different times because the damn thing was so freakin' long. Enjoy Part 1. Watch even just for the 80s cop show intro.

20 SECONDS OF EXQUISITE VIOLENCE

20 SECONDS OF EXQUISITE VIOLENCE!!!

Another trailer for my YouTube Channel.

Gotta admit, views have been going up. Not sky-rocketing, but going up.

There's a lot of videos on there that deserve viewing. They may not be Funny Or Die material, but they were fun to make. Like or Subscribe. The world will one day know that we were here, and we... well... yeah...

http://www.youtube.com/user/Fitl?sub_confirmation=1

BOB AND GORDON: ZUPER FRIENDZ

BOB AND GORDON: ZUPER FRIENDZ

Gordon gets a visit from his old friend Bob...

and then Bob steals his pants...

Check out The Fitl Box
http://www.youtube.com/user/Fitl?sub_confirmation=1

20 SECONDS OF DEPLORABLE SCREAMING

20 SECONDS OF DEPLORABLE SCREAMING

This is one of three trailers for my newly polished YouTube Channel...
Check out The Fitl Box
http://www.youtube.com/user/Fitl?sub_confirmation=1

GHOST MEAT: THE RANCID EDITION

 

So I pulled a George Lucas and recut an old short that needed some love. This is probably the grossest video I've ever made. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DNZKsQTSdk

RICKSHAW LAW - THE FINALE

THE FINALE: "JUSTICE FOR JIMMY"

Rickshaw Law - The Finale: Rochester Lawyers Enzo Prosciutto and H.P. Barnes are forced to take the law into their own hands to stop all this rickshaw bullsh#% once and for all.

 

https://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=3AJFhFOjqW0

"RICKSHAW LAW, FINALE" SOUND CREDITS

"RICKSHAW LAW, FINALE" SOUND CREDITS

This is not a blog entry. This is a credits list of the sound effects used in the video "Rickshaw Law, Part 2" in order to reference their title and author as to avoid any legal action. It was stipulated on the site itself that this was an acceptable means. Go here : http://freesound.org/help/faq/#licenses-1

"TV Static"
Courtesy of funnyman374
http://freesound.org/people/FunnyMan374/sounds/116395/

"Heavy Breathing"
Courtesy of Under7dude 
http://freesound.org/people/Under7dude/sounds/163383/

"Heart Beat"
Courtesy of thenudo
http://freesound.org/people/thenudo/sounds/146765/

"Tires Squeaking"
Courtesy of rutgermuller
http://freesound.org/people/RutgerMuller/sounds/104026/

"Growling And Barking"
Courtesy of admnaismith
http://freesound.org/people/AdmNaismith/sounds/204773/

"Crash Glass"
Courtesy of rock-savage
http://freesound.org/people/Rock%20Savage/sounds/59263/

RICKSHAW LAW - PART 2

PART 2: "ONLY LAW FIRM"

In the wake of the rickshaw uprising, Rochester Lawyer Enzo Prosciutto unveils a dark secret about his past. Meanwhile, his beloved law partner H.P. Barnes also reveals a dark secret... about Prosciutto's past.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KLi3pifbyg

"RICKSHAW LAW, PART 2" SOUND CREDITS

"RICKSHAW LAW, PART 2" SOUND CREDITS

This is not a blog entry. This is a credits list of the sound effects used in the video "Rickshaw Law, Part 2" in order to reference their title and author as to avoid any legal action. It was stipulated on the site itself that this was an acceptable means. Go here : http://freesound.org/help/faq/#licenses-1

"TV Static"
Courtesy of funnyman374
http://freesound.org/people/FunnyMan374/sounds/116395/

"Police Siren"
Courtesy of multimax2121 
http://freesound.org/people/MultiMax2121/sounds/156869/

"Cartoon Poppyup Appearances"
Courtesy of martian
http://freesound.org/people/martian/sounds/19287/

"Wind"
Courtesy of cyril-laurier
http://freesound.org/people/Cyril%20Laurier/sounds/17645/

"Wood Door Knock"
Courtesy of ripper351
http://freesound.org/people/monotraum/sounds/213072/

"Door Low Closing"
Courtesy of Rutger Muller
http://freesound.org/people/RutgerMuller/sounds/50707/

"Dishes In Sink"
Courtesy of semccab
http://freesound.org/people/semccab/sounds/154377/

"Footsteps Squeaky Wood"
Courtesy of tmkappelt
http://freesound.org/people/tmkappelt/sounds/85687/

"Weird 2"
Courtesy of sirplus
http://freesound.org/people/sirplus/sounds/47656/

"Girl Scream In Soundstage"
Courtesy of cargio0003
http://freesound.org/people/cargio0003/sounds/205902/

"Footsteps Squeaky Wood"
Courtesy of tmkappelt
http://freesound.org/people/tmkappelt/sounds/85687/

"Footsteps on Linoleum Floor With Socks"
Courtesy of Steve Mannella
http://freesound.org/people/SteveMannella/sounds/86170/

RICKSHAW LAW - PART 1

PART 1: "SATISFIED VICTIMS"

Lawyers Enzo Prosciutto and H.P. Barnes get justice for resident Gary Hutton, a hapless victim of the growing rickshaw mania in Rochester, New York.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WKSSqIQ7UY

"RICKSHAW LAW, CASE NO. 1" SOUND CREDITS

"RICKSHAW LAW, CASE NO. 1" SOUND CREDITS

This is not a blog entry. This is a credits list of the sound effects used in the video "Rickshaw Law, Case No. 1" in order to reference their title and author as to avoid any legal action. It was stipulated on the site itself that this was an acceptable means. Go here : http://freesound.org/help/faq/#licenses-1

"TV Static"
Courtesy of funnyman374
http://freesound.org/people/FunnyMan374/sounds/116395/

"Just Birds"
Courtesy of Littlebrojoy 
http://freesound.org/people/Littlebrojay/sounds/195437/

"Car Horns"
Courtesy of toiletrolltube
http://freesound.org/people/toiletrolltube/sounds/179858/

"Electric Trash Bin"
Courtesy of monotraum
http://freesound.org/people/monotraum/sounds/213072/

"Cartoon Poppyup Appearances"
Courtesy of martian
http://freesound.org/people/martian/sounds/19287/

"Girl Scream In Soundstage"
Courtesy of cargio0003
http://freesound.org/people/cargio0003/sounds/205902/

"Cash Register Purchase"
Courtesy of Zott820
http://freesound.org/people/Zott820/sounds/209578/

SHOOTING FROM THE HIP - "GOING GREEN"

SHOOTING FROM THE HIP - EPISODE 3

There are many ways to go green!

http://youtu.be/g_-70wZJYKA

SHOOTING FROM THE HIP: "THE HAMMERER"

SHOOTING FROM THE HIP - EPISODE 2

A famous scene from the low-budget, cult hit "The Hammerer."

http://youtu.be/zkEji6UCheU

Check out our first episode, "Smackin' Cheese!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkEji6UCheU

SHOOTING FROM THE HIP: "SMACKIN' CHEESE"

Hello, Internet

So I stopped posting blogs for a while. Reason being that I got tired of writing about movies as opposed to making them. So my absence has been so that I may return to production... Yeah, I know. No one cares...

The following video is a "making-of" for a cheese commercial that a friend and I embarked upon and will probably never see the light of day... but the outtakes are pretty funny. Check out the newly transformed Shooting From The Hip, now in video.

Enjoy. More to come.