SHOOTING FROM THE HIP: "THE HAMMERER"

SHOOTING FROM THE HIP - EPISODE 2

A famous scene from the low-budget, cult hit "The Hammerer."

http://youtu.be/zkEji6UCheU

Check out our first episode, "Smackin' Cheese!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkEji6UCheU

BAD MOVIES THAT SHOULD BE SEEN (8 OF 100)

 

"Death Wish 3" (1985), Dir: Michael Winner

$9 Million in Budget vs. $16,116,878 in Gross

A milestone of the legendary Cannon Group, I remember reading an article on Death Wish 3 in university once, to my surprise, shortly after seeing on television. I never really considered Charlie B. the subject of academia before. I don't remember the said article's title, but the subheading was "Whitey's Comin' To Get Ya." It discussed the Death Wish films as archetypal examples of the 80s conservative backlash. I read it, having only seen one of the Death Wish films, and wondered to myself how anyone got that from a film that features Alex Winter (Bill from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure) as one of the main villain's lackeys.

In his prime, I'm sure Charles Bronson was one scary mother. But by the third Death Wish movie, he just looked... well, tired, like he needed a nap... maybe a drink as well. His presence in this film was far less action hero and far more melting candle. (There was a little more spark in his return-performance in Death Wish 4. In that film, there's a scene where he plants a bomb in a fish dinner.) This addition to the depraved adventures of Paul Kersey has Paul visiting an old war buddy in a crime-ridden neighborhood, only to find his friend murdered and the local police pinning the crime on him... 

But knowing that Paul is a vigilante, the police captain (Ed Lauter, who always played the police captain) releases Paul in hopes that he will murder the bad guys and save his officers from actually enforcing the law. From there, the movie goes back and forth between Bronson killing crazy punks with clever booby-traps (pre-Home Alone and much more funny) to just straight-up shooting them. Eventually, the punks push back, going after Broson's retired senior citizen friends. Not satisfied, they murder Bronson's sorta love interest (Deborah Raffin at her most redwood) and just after the two have just finished a nice chicken dinner. Bronson's reaction to this is very much a "Well, sh&*%."

This slowly leads to one of the greatest cinematic battles (pre-Braveheart). The Elderly vs. The Young Punks. Grandmas and grandpas alike breaking out their old rusty guns (some of them being what I assume is an M2 Browning Machine Gun) and murdering punks in masses. There is one particular scene where the old people trick some of the punks with a booby-trap, making them trip over a chain, and then shooting them to death while they're in the street and can't get up... It's amazing. See the whole thing here.

But the fact remains that Charles Bronson seems half-asleep during the whole film, making even scenes where he's kicking ass and taking numbers play out like he were Grandpa Simpson (and not Hell-Fish Bonanza Grandpa Simpson either). Watch for the comedy because there's plenty of that.

For your viewing displeasure, Charles Bronson buying a ice cream bar and then murdering somebody, and giving the neighborhood a new-found sense of hope.

BAD MOVIES THAT SHOULD BE SEEN (4 OF 100)

 

"Southland Tales" (2006), Dir: Richard Kelly

$17 Million in Budget vs. $374,743 in Gross

Some movies are so bad that they are fascinating, like The Crow 2 or Natural Born Killers. You watch it and wonder what exactly was going through the director's mind they made whatever this is. Apparently Richard Kelly's abomination Southland Tales was inspired by the events of September 11th. Now, what exactly the Highlander driving around in a van, Sarah Michelle Gellar as a porn star, Kevin Smith as a gun-totting Obi Wan Kenobi, and the Rock traveling through time have to do with the events of September 11th is beyond me, but that's what was on Kelly's. (The funniest thing is that besides the time travel part, I could see most of the insane notions of celebrity explored in this movie coming to fruition.) Starring pretty much every C-grade actor and misfit in Hollywood -- Sean William Scott, Jon Lovitz, Cheri Oteri, Will Sasso, that midget-lady from Poltergeist -- Southland Tales is a senseless, pretentious mess. Abundantly attempting to be social commentary, the dares to go places its audience might not necessarily want to, ie. seeing Stifler try to seriously actor, Cheri Oteri threatening to kill herself unless she gets some Dwayne Johnson c%$#@, and some androgynous Chinese woman dancing in, like, every scene. Unraveling into moments of what looks like a  George Michael video and with a soundtrack entirely by Moby, this giant mess runs over two whole hours. The movie has its moments, but that's mainly the C.G.I. car commercial that turns into vehicular pornography with one truck ramming another. The rest, I just don't know...



For your viewing displeasure, what could arguably be the best scene in the film or the worst. I'm gonna be generous and call it the best because at least its creativity takes over the confusing aspects.